I Can’t Believe I Finished This Retarded Game: Lightning Warrior Raidy II Part 3
April 12, 2012 § Leave a comment
Spring break ended 2 weeks ago for me, and I’m pissed off at how unfruitful it was. The highlight of my spring break was hanging out with my friend Cindy (aka Cindaquil) and being with Adam, DJ, Pablo, and a few others smoking out of a hookah. The lowest point and biggest waste of time was spent playing Lightning Warrior Raidy 2 (the sequel to the first). Not only was I dungeon crawling down this cavern, fighting random encounter monsters (which the loli ones were cute), and 4 boss encounters that raped my character my first encounter. Turns out, I had to find certain items in the dungeons (filled with puzzle traps, fake walls, and teleporting rooms) that I simply had enough and turned to a guide online. Yes! A guide online! Hate on me for cheating, but believe me, you too would be frustrated with the amount of crap teleporting you back repeatedly and bumping into walls until you pass through one that is fake… anyways… I left our slutty warrior on the 5th boss, Rejiru, a succubus like boss with scarab like armor. My encounter ended up with me being seduced by pink fog, toyed with sexually before thrown into a dungeon… Well fuck, no wonder why I quit at that point. 2 weeks later, I once again torture myself and sit down to finish off what I set off to do… to the end at least…
**Note, it seems that Peach princess calls Rejiru “Lecille”**
Thrown into a dungeon, it seems my journey would end as Raidy waits for the villain to take her and use her repeatedly. Well… through circumstances, I obtained a small thief’s lock-pick from a fellow girl I rescued, which was the only thing that I was not stripped of. Escaping my cozy prison home, I run around the dungeons with no armor, weapon, or gear in hand… nope. Just my bare ass and tits bouncing around… oh joy…
Luckily for me, I had my trusty guide that navigated me through the dungeon floors and arrived at a location of monsters selling wares, whom were monsters Raidy had previously dealt punishing justice in the first game. In exchange for gear, armor, weapons, and a good healing, I’ve had to offer Raidy’s body to be tortured via wax, whip, and an enema (the last one was unpleasant). I love Japan for most of it’s amazing hentai, but this was the last straw and I… rage quitted ten minutes into the game… again… >.>
Ugh… after a bit of rehabilitation (watching some Maken Ki), I once again started up the game geared up in equipment, various potions, and a passionate hatred to simply finish and uninstall this game. Fighting my way to the next floor, I encounter my first boss… a little girl with a golem whose wang rivaled that of Sea Biscuit. The stone fellow (did I mention big?) was sexually assaulting one of the Jami bandit bosses I previously defeated. Skipping the dialogue sequence (since it was always the same BS), I prepared Raidy for a battle against the giant rock headed monster led by his lolita master; though of course, I cheated by charging my lightning powers for 3 turns, and instant killed the motherfucker.
The game is really easy if you simply charge your lightning after 3-4 turns and using a lighting attack; during that time you take less damage than you would hacking and slashing, and it saves time. Anyways, the golem, dazed and messed up, began to assault it’s master with his 15 inches, leaving me to save my former enemy… I did mention big right?
After witnessing Sea-Biscuit (the Golem) plow his 15 inches into a very sorry Loli (that rhymed!!!), I continued through the next floor of the dungeon, which involved me having to navigate through an innumerable number of fake walls! FUCK!!! Even with the guide, it was confusing as hell to get through, fighting monsters, and searching for the specific items I needed in order to progress! The rage on my face frightened Chewy (a dog/roommate), who hid under several blankets on his dog bed while watching me pop several blood vessels. Fighting the boss, a woman in giant red armor, I once again commenced to charge my lightning and beat the bitch and commence to smack her rear end. I say this now, my most enjoyable moment throughout this was to crush the bosses who defeat me and take pleasure in punishing them… This game had awakened more of my Sadistic tendencies, which Chewy quivered repeatedly as I screamed out “TAKE IT BETCH!”… >.>
Heading forward to the next floor, pushing my way through random encounter monsters, I come across my next boss, a ninja… Sounds fun right? Not when you’re out of MP potions and mana. The shitty gear I had on me wasn’t able to withstand an assault by ninja girl, who tore me to pieces and violated me on a wooden horse. I replayed the same battle but it eventually came down to me going back to grinding tactics.
Loading a previous save, I force myself to grind as I navigate my way back to the item shop gals (at the dungeon area). I bought all new gear, stocked up on items, and crawled back up against heavy crit dealing monsters!!! Luckily, I gained a few levels before reaching Ninja gal, and dealt punishing justice to her crotch, and all in time to save the damsel in distress… which was another Jami Bandit boss. V_V Raidy is too kind.
The final floor was a bitch to get through, not because of the traps, but because the monsters dealt a lot of damage to my health. Even reaching max level (35) I still had trouble fighting the 9 tailed foxes. With perseverance, I made it to the boss room… until I read the guide and realized I was lacking a certain item. What I was missing was Sexcaliber (yes I know, I too giggled), which used pent up lust from masturbating to deal massive damage. Without it, Rejiru would have defeated me and I would have lost ;n; Returning back two whole floors, I picked up the item, went one floor down to charge it, and before I go back to fight the boss I encounter a cute girl being assaulted by some tentacled monster. Taking the time to help the girl, called Horn, who is a priestess of the light, I learn that that there is a lightning spirit within me, a sign that I was chosen by to defend the people of Els from the god of Chaos.
Anyways, prepared and ready for my encounter with Rejiru, I smacked the bitch with lightning blasts before pinning her down with rope (convenient enough) and opening her legs for Sexcaliber to do it’s job >:3
My sadistic moment short lived, the story comes along and ruins my triumphant moment over the Succubus that defeated me previously. The villain once again appeared, the priest of chaos named Gav, comes to mock me before leaving. Turns out, Raidy stopping the bandits, dungeon crawling and defeating bosses, and all the crazy encounters I had, all helped the Gav (the priest) to speed his resurrection of Chaos. Pissed off, Raidy chases after him, conveniently speeding through five levels of dungeons, and making it outside where a giant building has surfaced on the lake. Fuck my life… it’ll never end.
I know I’m close to beating the game, since the guide I was using was a helpful hint that I had to survive 2 more bosses before the finale. V_V Grabbing as many potions, I head into the temple and begin to fight the monsters (which deal a lot of damage. My most favorite of these monsters is the Nightmare, a ghoulish girl surrounded by blue fire, who is so cute that you want to hug her!!!… until she tries to drain your life :(
Fighting my way through to the boss, I come across a major turn of events, which should have been obvious to me if I payed more attention to the dialogue. Turns out, I am fighting a Mimic, who poses as me and tortures innocent girls. D:< Oh hell no! I forced Raidy to beat that girl to a pulp and swiftly deal out punishing justice upon her! Once again, our friend Mr. Rope comes in handy as Fake Raidy is tied up and put on a wooden horse. REVENGE!!!
Redeeming my name, I continue to push onward to the next floor, defeating clown like girls and reaching the boss… who has a very hard… shaft… >.> no joke. This Angel has sprouted a penis, and knows how to use it. Sensing that I am close to the ending, I smack her with a couple lightning attacks, and shove a purple dildo into her… well I censored it for the sake of the blog, but take my word for it… I’ts purple ;D
Ugh… Stomaching a very horny angel assault, I make it to the final boss, Gav, who waits for me eagerly to begin the final battle against good and chaotic (not evil). Thinking this to be an easy fight, I attacked gave with lightning and believe him to be defeated. He gets back up pissed off, and transform into Chaos @_@ I’m out of potions, low on health, and nearly out of MP! I foolishly did not save, and I was going to have it rough this next round. Somehow, I luckily blocked most of his attacks, giving me enough time to charge my powers, and attack him with a final lightning attack before slashing him a few times. BOOM! Saved the world from a crazed chaotic demon.
Defeating Gav and his sex fiends, Raidy returns back to town as a hero, where even the Jami Bandits await her triumphant return and see her off. Raidy’s quest may continue, but I for one am done. I’ve raged too much just playing this, and after so many attempts to lose purposely and following the guide, I have yet to unlock over half of the CG’s. FUCK THAT SHIT!!! I’ll have a better time in Dark Souls Blight Town than Raidy. If I could, I’d send a very angry hate letter to the developers, giving my opinions on what to do for a 3rd game. Dear Developers… CHANGE THE GAME MECHANICS, GET RID OF THE REPETITIVE DIALOGUE CHOICES, AND USE BETTER VOICE ACTING EQUIPMENT!… ahem… for those interested in S&M play, Bondage, and other sick shit (literally), this game might be designed for you. As for myself, I am going to uninstall this game and denounce it for what it is, trash. If I hear nice things about the third game, I might pick it up and test it out, but until then, I never want to see Raidy ever again. I’m sorry David, and I thank you for the effort in loaning me the game, but it is beyond me how this is an “Improvement” from the first game (which I have yet to play). There was potential, and I really wish there was, but I couldn’t even have fun playing this game… Anyways, I’m going to need anger management from now on… until next time